My place...

If I was somewhere else right now I would want to be at my church. Hillside Baptist Church. I've grown up there and it literally is my second home. so many things happen there that are as much a part of me and my life as anything else I do. Now that I'm out of the teen department I am actively involved in almost everything at the church. I teach a Sunday school class and help in the primary church classes because I love those kids so much. They are like my little brothers and sisters and to my mother's heart they are like my children too. I sing in the choir and in special music. I am also in orchestra and special instrumental music too. I am the projects director for our Wednesday night kid's program Master Club. I am in charge of costumes for the children's Christmas play this year and I'm helping with the music for that. I instruct a cardio workout (Zumba) class for the ladies at my church and work in the kitchen when we have fellowships. I also help with many many other things that need to be done and if someone asks me to do something I pitch in and help because I love my church and my church family and I want to make it the best it can be. When all of the "minor" details are taken care of then it's easier to worship the Lord. My church family is the most awesome church family ever. Every one's chemistry is great and we try to always portray a loving friendly attitude to everyone members and visitors alike. In the past few years several of the older people have taken me under their wing and taught me things and showed me things that will help me for the rest of my life. The older people really invest in the young people at my church and they really care about them too. We have three amazing pastors and they all do their jobs seamlessly and effectively. Many things have happened over the years. One night we were having a youth all nighter and us girls had already went up to my youth pastor's house with his wife, Mrs. Kristen, to watch a movie and do each others hair and things like that, and I guess the guys thought it would be a good idea to use the rolling bottoms of the trash cans to use for scooters and they got a little rowdy and they made a big hole in the wall. And I'm pretty sure it was my youth pastor who was on that scooter.

Knock down drag out...

My friend has been ignoring me recently and it's really ticking me off because I haven't done anything to deserve it. We were supposed to go shopping a couple Sundays ago but she cancelled. My other friend and I didn't end up going anyway so that was fine and everything, not mad about that then I go to lunch at a church member's house and who do you think is there but my friend who was too busy to go shopping with me! She was like, "Oh my plans were cancelled". Uh yeah! She doesn't tell me anything anymore and she doesn't even care how I'm doing at all. We are from the same church and people always come up and ask me how her or my best friend, who is going to college at Truman State University, are doing and I'm like, "How am I supposed to know? Why don't you ask them!?!" My best friend doesn't go to my church anymore because she is too far away so I understand people asking about her (besides the fact that we are almost inseparable) but my other friend does. Why don't they just walk to the other side of the church and ask her? And what about me? I'm not doing so hot myself but it's ok don't ask me about it because you just assume I'm fine because apparently I'm always fine! It just irks me that when she comes home and wants to do something she wants everyone to drop their schedules and spend time with her but when we"ve actually planned something, that she has wholeheartedly agreed to, she cancels last minute then makes up an excuse. Whatever I don't want to deal with you right now so whenever you get over this all about me attitude let me know and we'll talk.

Rich and Ugly or....Poor and Beautiful?

I think I would rather be poor and beautiful. I am already poor so that would be nothing new and I would much rather be a good person and someone that everyone liked rather than someone who had everything but didn't ever share it or anything. You can always make money but you can't always "make beauty". I believe that true beauty comes from inside and when you let it show on the outside it makes you even more beautiful than you already are in other people's eyes. People have preconceived notions about others sometimes before they even meet them. A lot of times it's from seeing them doing something or talking with someone else and they make judgements about you that are either favorable or unfavorable. You can always change that opinion but people's first impressions stick a long time. It's better they see you with the right attitude the first time because then they will be much more receptive to what you have to say. Being poor is not a disease either. If you have things in your life that you really need, like family, love, faith, joy, then you don't need a lot of money. don't get me wrong it would be nice to be rich because it would be a lot less stressful and you could do things you wanted but as the old cliche goes "money can't buy happiness". Besides if everyone were poor and beautiful poor would become the new average but nobody would really care because everyone would be nice and friendly about things anyway.

OGYBL!!!

There have been so many times I have laughed with my best friend Teah. I remember one time we were just sitting in her room and I was sitting at the computer and she was sitting on the floor next to me and I have no clue what we were doing but all of a sudden something struck us as hilarious and we start laughing really hard. We probably laughed for a minute when one of us made a comment and that really got us going. We sat there for like 5 more minutes laughing so hard that no sound was coming out. Our mouths were open and we were grabbing our bellies because they hurt so bad but we could barely breathe because of the laughter. we finally got ourselves under control but we made the mistake of looking at each other and we totally lost it again. We still have no clue what we were laughing about but everytime we think about it and remember each others faces we crack up. I almost started laughing in the middle of class as I was writing this.

This person...only better

This person can be instinctively quiet, and sometimes distant simply because not interacting comes easier than making yourself vulnerable and opening up to people. Because of this they sometimes come across as snobby without even meaning to. They love to observe and study people though scholarly studies do not excite them as much.  Normally words flow with some wittiness thrown in there, and every once in a while gets a little boisterous, and outgoing. Even though they love to smile they have a straight face just because they guard their feelings too tightly and don't let enough emotion show on their face. They tend to have scrunched hair because they like the way it looks, all pretty and natural looking.  Usually more casually dressed, they wear a lot of blue jeans, but they dress up for church and occasionally school. This person doesn't wear a lot of physical hats necessarily but as they have many different jobs this person has to do and different things they need to be be it a teacher, cook, friend, or student. Only being one age they wear many different maturity levels. They can be expressive in many ways including dress, attitude, lack of expression, and body language.  They like familiarity but it does take a while to warm up to people. They like the love language of touch and show love by touching and hugging people they have "let in". This person has many different and sometimes conflicting traits but it all balances out. They just want to be a loving, good, friendly person. This person is me.

What if...

What if I could go back in time? Where would I go? I would go to the 1800's. I love everything about that time in American history and it would have been so amazing to be a part of it. I would want to be one of the pioneers (none of the city slicker stuff for me) and go west on the Oregon Trail. Have a ranch in Montana or something like that with wide open sky and mountains touching the sky. Or a ranch in Texas with cowboys running around and the quest for independence from Mexico and union with the United States. To tame the frontier with all its wild animals and unused land. To carve out a home in the vast wilderness of the west, to see horses running wild and rivers flowing freely. That is where I would want to be because that is where my heart is. It would be so cool to meet Indians and see their culture (the friendly ones anyway) and watch the buffalo grazing en mass on the prairies. I know life was extremely hard back then but whenever I think of that life I only think of the fun of a challenge. Oh to be a pioneer!

A Little Bit of BFF TLC

Every time I hear the song "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars I think of how sweet it would be to have someone sing those lyrics to me (especially a guy) but then I think, "He sounds like he's singing about my best friend." Even though she frustrates me sometimes I will always love her and think these things about her because they are absolutely true!

The beautiful things about my best friend Teah...

Eyes-they are an inviting brownish green color but when she cries they turn bright green like the grass and the best part is they can see everything about me and still love just pours from them

Hair-though it's crazy it make her exactly who she is, it's so thick and smooth you just have to pick it up and play with it or run your fingers through her curls

Humble-she loves to get compliments because it validates that she is beautiful but she is not vain, when people tell her she is beautiful she quickly thanks them then turns it around and picks out features about them to compliment

Smile-it is so ready especially for others and though it has a little more "bling" than normal it is bright and cheery and freely given

Lips-though I have no romantic thoughts whatsoever about her, her lips are always gracious and clean, no foul language and always a good thing to say about people

Laugh-like the smile always ready and even though she gets embarrassed because it is sometimes obnoxious it makes her feel better every time and you can't help but laugh along with her

And now my own additions-

Arms-though they hyper extend at the elbows and it looks weird they are the most loving arms, always helping people who can't do for themselves and never failing to show love to those in need, sometimes I just have to cry because I want to rest in those arms so badly but can't because we are miles apart

Feet-long and somewhat skinny they get in the way sometimes (especially the toes) but they run to help and jump with joy when celebrating with a friend, they are beautiful because she uses them for the glory of the Lord

Heart-though not always sure her heart is always open to others and she never withholds love from anyone (she just can't help it)

My best friend Teah is beautiful in so many ways I can't name them all but I hope I can show how much I love and appreciate her. Some say you don't appreciate the things you have until they're gone and I couldn't imagine not having her so I'm going to be thankful for her every day of my life. :)

Married or Not.. You should read this. ❤

【 Marriage 】
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes..

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.
— At least, in the eyes of our son — I’m a loving husband...

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.. ...」

This person

This person is instinctively quiet, and sometimes distant simply because it is easier to not interact with people sometimes. Because of this they sometimes come across as snobby but that is not how they mean to be. They love to observe and study people though they are not so excited about scholarly studies.  Normally though they are talkative with some wittiness thrown in there, sometimes gets a little boisterous, and outgoing. Even though they love to smile they have a straight face just because they guard their feelings too tightly sometimes and don't let enough emotion show on their face. They tend to have scrunched hair because they think it's pretty and natural looking. They are usually more casually dressed, they wear a lot of blue jeans, but they dress up for church and occasionally school. This person doesn't wear a lot of physical hats necessarily but there are many different jobs this person has to do and different things they need to be be it a teacher, cook, friend, or student. Though they are only one age they are prone to feeling and acting different ages. They can be expressive in many ways including dress, attitude, lack of expression, and body language. Which is also a big thing for them. They like familiarity but it does take a while to warm up to people. They like the love language of touch and is a very touchy/huggy person with people they have "let in". This person has many different and sometimes conflicting traits but it all balances out. They just want to be a loving, good, friendly person. This person is me.

And That's Final

Ok here it goes. The attention to detail and the contrast were mentioned in almost everyone's response and description. There were so many lines and different shapes that were so different from each other but with them being so different they all cam together to form the picture the way it is. Jodi said she just described one thing and so we decided that there was much attention to detail that she could write about only one thing and have a whole post on that. Each gecko, and the blanket, and  even the picture as a whole could be described down to a t because there is so much depth and detail put into it. I think that I have written all I can about this picture because I have done three posts on it and other than tell you exactly what it looks like I don't have anything else to say. I am all pictured out. I've never been much of an art person anyway. I see a picture and I either like it or I don't like it and if I don't like it then I move on. Very rarely am I in the middle about art. I mostly like land and sea scapes or photos of real things like people or plants or something. I'm not much into portraits and I definitely don't like abstract art. Random lines or shapes on a page just do nothing for me.     

If you pass go collect 200$...

I've played board games since I was old enough to look at pictures...but not usually in my house. Don't get me wrong we have like a million and three board games shoved up in one of the closets we just hardly ever play them. My dad is just not into board games. When he plays one and gets frustrated because he doesn't know how to play he will just get up and leave the game. It's so frustrating when he does that thus the hardly ever playing of board games in my house. Now my friends and I love to play card games and we are the ultimate at spoons. Our spoons games can get extremely violent so we usually wear "armor" when we play so we don't get an eye poked out. There was one instance where we were playing at my youth pastor's house at his dining room table and we were all grabbing for spoons and one of my friends, Lacey, lunged across the table with a viking-like shriek and grabbed the spoon of some poor innocent player on the other side. Then she landed in someone's lap when she pulled back across the table and we all kind of just stared at her for a little while and then burst out laughing. There was also one time when my friend Bethany and I wanted to play the Disney Princess Monopoly that was donated to the youth department but we need three more players. So who did we recruit? Our friends Sam, Moses, and Cory. It was so hilarious to see them daintily moving their princess around the sparkly pink board and yelling at each other because they weren't dealing the money right. Bethany and I just sat there laughing and laughing. So all in all I like board games I just don't get to play them very often.

I'm a poet?

Things in the old days
Things in the old days were not like they are now
they made their living off the land, to do that nowadays we wouldn't know how
plowing planting hauling and more
they used their backs, that's what they were for
no finer a woman could ever be found
than out on the range or settling towns
pioneer women they called them and for good reason
they withstood the storms every one in their season
the children were hearty and always content
helping with chores and sometimes the rent
families were usually large but lived close
giving love and much laughter in a big healthy dose
in these modern times we seldom see kin
hustling and bustling each day we begin
with rushed preparation and occasionally a kiss
how many things we so often miss
why not reminisce like back in the day
when boys and girls would laugh as they went about their play
and mothers and fathers would still get along
and every American would sing the proud song
"For the land of the free, and the home of the brave"
why aren't things now like things in the old days?

The Perfect Weekend:)

I could write all about this perfect, cheery, optimistic, very unrealistic weekend but I don't think I'm going to. You know why? Even though this past weekend wasn't perfect it's life and I wouldn't have it any other way. My best friend goes to Truman State University and she got to come home for the weekend. I've gone up there to see her twice but she hasn't come back home until now. Even before she got down here she had her weekend jam packed with people she wanted to see and do things with. She had told me that she was going to do all these things with me and I was so excited. When she got down here I was the first person she saw which was good but then things just kept happening where she spent a little too much time with this person or she couldn't make this with me because of something else. I began to see that it was not going  to be the weekend I had thought it would be. Now some of this was not her fault at all but with all of it it almost felt like she had penciled me in for 30 minutes here and there but if she ran over somewhere else 5 minutes would work just as well. At first it hurt my feelings and I was disappointed that we didn't get the time together and that she would do that to me but then I realized I was being selfish. I'm the only one besides her close family that has gotten to see her since she left and I even got to see her twice. Of course I was still disappointed and just a little hurt but I wanted to let other people have a chance to see her so I decided just to stay close but not too close. I tell that whole story to say this. I learned a few important lessons that I can now apply to the numerous situations, that I'm sure I will face at some point, and I wouldn't trade those for anything. It's nice, and sometimes therapeutic, to describe a perfect weekend but I just felt like this one was perfect for me. Sometimes you have to be knocked down to be built up and I'm thankful for everything that happened to me this weekend.

It's just one of those things

Some people can be just plain mean sometimes. They have their own opinions about things and if other people don't share those opinions then they are wrong. INCORRECT! Just because you see something one way doesn't mean that's the only way, or the only right way. Don't attack people, especially publicly, when you don't even know all the facts. It only hurts your testimony and makes people view you as judgemental and it doesn't paint a very pretty picture. If you don't agree with it either go to the person or people you disagree with or don't say anything at all. Don't put rude messages on facebook where the whole world and their mother can see it. That is all.

Find what you love

It is so sad when you see people who are very good at what they do but they don't get any satisfaction from it because it is not what they love. You can become content with whatever you are doing or wherever you are in life but if it's not really what you should be doing then you are wasting your time. To me doing something I love would be working with people, children especially. Sometimes people can be very trying and you just want to go be a hermit but if I had a job where I wouldn't get to interact with people my life and probably my person would become very boring. I am the type of person who observes others and if I like how they do something or what they are wearing or acting like then I try it for myself to see if it works for me. If it does I claim whatever has caught my eye and I make it my own.  I need that interaction with people. I am also a very loving person and if I can't express that love for other people, even people I don't know, then my heart would either become hardened to love or empty of it all together because I wouldn't be exercising it. I also think that it's ok if you don't get it right the first time, but, you have to learn something from your mistakes that way you don't spend your whole life jumping from one thing to another. I feel like for me what I'm meant to do, in my job/career and in my life in general, has to be pieced together like a puzzle. Some people are cut out for a specific job and they find that out early and they go for it. Mine is a conglomeration of different areas that come together when I've explored different things and found what I like and don't like. I don't think I could settle for anything less than what I want because truly when you follow your heart it will lead where you're supposed to go anyway.

Is it worth it?

I have decided that some things are just not worth the trouble. Things like getting angry when someone does something stupid or when someone wants to argue about something and they won't drop the subject. There was one time we had just gotten our yearbooks and my friend "Sara" threw mine on the floor to be funny. It was a nice one and when she threw it on the floor it slid and got little gash marks all over the cover. I wasn't happy and I think she knew it. We had been waiting to do something and afterwards she apologized and I told her it was ok. She was like, "Really? I thought you'd be mad at me." I told her that it was pointless to get mad because one it was just a yearbook and two it wouldn't help anyone. I think I surprised her and maybe influenced her view on being mad a little bit. In my opinion being mad makes you feel better for a little while but in the long run it helps no one. Another thing that I don't think is worth any one's time is drama. I know that in high school and very much in middle school it's almost unavoidable but when you grow up and become an adult IT IS NOT NECESSARY. Why can't we all act like human beings and solve something in a mature way? In conclusion I have many more opinions about what is not worth the trouble but  who wants to read a 5 page paper?

Masquerade

One of my habits is a bad habit in disguise as a good habit. Sort of. I tend to be the one who always helps others. Everyone can depend on me to do it because I will always be there and if you show me I will always try and get it right. You could say I'm at other people's disposal. Except for the fact that I always seem to think about myself and how I will benefit from what I'm doing for them. Don't get me wrong sometimes my heart is in exactly the right place and I do it ONLY because it makes them happy or helps me out but sometimes that's not the case. I honestly love doing things for people and I really don't mind but the little niggling, annoying, almost embarrassing thought that's always in the back of my mind is how does this make me look to other people or what is this doing for me? I hate that I'm this way but when it comes time I never can seem to change it. I don't necessarily care what other people think of me but I want them to know that I am a nice person and friendly so they will want to be around me. I also know I want their approval so sometimes one of my motivations is, "Will this make me look good?" It's horrible I know and I'm ashamed by it because this is not how our attitudes are supposed to be but I also know that I'm a work in progress and I'm not alone. Sometimes I even console myself with that fact. I'm glad that people can't see what's in the heart because I would not be worthy to be emulated or even looked at if they could. Some of my close friends know this about me and still they accept me for who I am but I think if everyone knew they couldn't overlook it with love for very long. I also think that since I know this about myself it reminds me to consider the flaws in other people and to overlook them with love because that's what I would want them to do with me.

Road Work Ahead!

Life happens to you no matter what. You have the awesome responsibility of making the choices that determine how it life happens. Our prompt for today was the quote, "Successful people have successful habits, unsuccessful people don't." People often say that practice makes perfect but what if you're practicing the wrong thing?  You have the power over yourself and your life to make changes nobody else can. You decide whether or not to apply yourself to your studies or to keep harmful substances out of your body because you know that both of those things can affect you and every decision you make has consequences. those consequences can be good or bad but no matter what you can learn from those experiences. If you want your life to take a certain path then you work at the things that will make that path successful and you don't get there by sitting on your hind end doing nothing but waiting. Yes most good things come with time but you have to work towards them not wait for them. If you have successful habits you will be able to accomplish more and do it more efficiently also because you will be used to making things work so your 'technique' will become easier to use. The bonus is when you start and keep successful habits in your life others will see and pick up those habits as well and you will become a motivator without even meaning to and sometimes without even knowing it. You will have helped someone else to start on the path in their life that they want to take and they will develop the good habits needed to keep them on course.

Money money money moneeey...MONEY!

OH MY GOSH!!! If I found THREE MILLION DOLLARS under my desk I think I would just have to sit on the floor for a while. I would tithe off of it first then I would probably try and buy my mom a house and pay off my dad's mortgage. I would pay bills for them for like 3 years and I would fill up every one's gas tank (even my sister's mustang which I would buy for her). Then I would donate some to organizations and give a love offering to the missionaries we support. I would probably buy myself a new Ford, four door, 4-wheel drive, truck. I would do things for my friends and families in the church and then, of course, save whatever was left over. I might even have to get financial counseling if I had that much money because I wouldn't really know what to do with it. I believe that I have the right principles about money it's just more difficult to apply them.

2+2=Love

Last Sunday I learned that I will be getting to teach the 4 and 5 year old's class at church. I'm so excited because I love to teach and that age group is my favorite. Our associate pastor's wife teaches the class right now and she also teaches their primary church class too along with all the other things she does so I wanted to help her so she could have a break once in a while. I'm looking forward to it because I get to do my own crafts and I'll get to tell them stories and sing songs with them. They are so much fun at that age even though they are a bit challenging at times. I also was put in charge of the book projects for Master club on Wednesday nights. Last Wednesday I had the fifth graders (only two) and we made posters about Germany for our missions emphasis month in October. I got to decorate the classroom and put all of my things in there. I finally feel like I'm growing up because people are giving me more responsibility and I'm really excited to see what happens.

Coming Up: the next 5 star General of the U.S. Air Force!

My friend Lauren is such a character. She is the goofiest, craziest, most innocent person I know. When we met in 7th grade my friends nor I really liked her because we thought she was annoying. Somehow we got past that and she is a very important part of our group. She has always been very disciplined and good at military things and all through high school she worked her butt off to get into the Air Force Academy. Senior year she lost a bunch of weight (not good because she was already skinny) because she was so stressed out about not getting in. Of course with her outstanding accomplishments and merit she was accepted. I am so proud of her because she worked hard to get what she wanted. She is so beautiful not only because of her outward appearance (which is gorgeous by the way) she has a heart of gold and loves life and lives it to the fullest.

Ahhhhhhhh!!!

My stress relievers:

Crying-this is my tried and true method
Sitting by myself and being quiet
Soaking in a warm bath while reading a totally unrealistic fiction romance novel (christian of course)
Helping others
Baking
Watching a movie (kinda goes along with the bath and book idea)
Sleeping-sometimes I get way over stressed just because I'm tired
Lately doing some Zumba videos has given me somewhere to put my energy
Eating-sad but true
Venting-especially to my close friends who know that it doesn't really mean anything and don't judge me for it

I don't get too stressed out very easily but usually that's because I've done the first few things on the list before I get too far:)

Warm Fuzzies;)

I really like doing things for other people. It makes me feel happy when they get the gift and it turns their whole day around. It's also a lot of fun to do secret gifts because then they don't know who it is that thought of them but they just know that somebody out there did. I think that if everyone took just a little time out of their day to do something nice for just one other person, our society would be a happier more caring one. We can get so wrapped up in our own lives and problems that we don't see that other people are going through the same things. Sometimes, especially when you have a problem, it's a good practice to think of someone else and help them with whatever their struggling with and you'll see that maybe your problem wasn't so big or that it worked itself out without you even having to worry about it. For me helping others relieves stress because as bad as it sounds I can forget about things going on with me and focus on their problems. Sometimes they don't need you to fix them and sometimes you can't but they can always use someone to listen to them.

Grandma's Kitchen

I believe that baking is good for the soul. There's just something about the smell of cinnamon rolls coming out of the oven or yeast rolls rising. It's so homey and inviting (which if you ever want to make someone feel at ease just bake them cookies). Everybody has seen a picture of Grandma in her apron pulling a cake out of the oven and that picture provokes thoughts of home and love. I love to bake pretty much anything and I do believe that anything, even regular food, tastes better if it's baked or cooked with love. When I bake it relaxes me in that even if the recipe is hard or I haven't made it before I can just focus on making it the best it can be and if something goes wrong it's ok. I like to bake stuff for other people because it lets them know I'm thinking about them. I love it when I get little gifts from people who have taken the time especially for me to let me know I'm special and it's even better if there's food involved. I also love candles that smell like food. My favorites are the fall scents like apple pie, pumpkin spice, and cinnamon roll but I also like fruity smells and the candles that smell like cupcakes. Which brings me to another thing I like to do. Decorate cakes. I'm not very good and in no way to I do it professionally. It's really more of a wing it and hope it turns out good type of thing. I have done some cute ones though. My best friend Teah and I made a cow one time. He was kind of an ordeal but we all made it through and in the end we had to name him so we named him Norman. We were taking it to one of our church dinners and we had spent so much time on this cake that we were cutting it close to get to choir practice. She drove to church while I held Norman on my lap. He was just sitting on a piece of cardboard with aluminum wrapped over it. We were at church and I was just about to get out of the car when she accidentally bumped it. We both squealed and almost freaked out because we had worked so hard on it but it was ok. We rushed it inside and hurried off to choir practice.

Collage of Me! Part 1



This is how me and my best friend Teah spend the majority of our time...



Me and my youth pastor's oldest son. He's like a little brother to me:)...



Me and my sister Bethany when we were younger, weren't we adorable?...



Me and my best friend again at Truman State University on move in day...



Pretending to blow my friend Bethany's hair like a model...



My sister and her best friend Emily...Love those girls!:)



I believe in my friends, that they can do anything and that they believe in me:)

I love my friends. That is the most important thing about my friends. I have been pretty picky about who I "let in" but now that I've opened up a bit I have so many amazing ones. My friends are always there for me and I know they love me too. I have a little group of about 8 girls that are my closest friends. Kaelyn, Kristan, Lauren, Bethany, Megan, Kristi, Teah, and my sister Bethany. These are my girls and I've got their backs just like they've got mine. We laugh, cry, and fight with each other and there is no question that we would kill for each other. All of my other friends are so important to me as well. They are encouraging and I am a better person because of them. I am so grateful to have the friends I do.

This I Believe...

I believe...
that smores, campfires, and hayrides are the most fun things ever
in my friends, that they can do anything and that they believe in me
in love
that Jesus Christ died for MY sins and he not only saved me from an eternity in hell he gave me
    a Mansion! in heaven
farmer's are the backbone of this country
children are blessings from God
children also may possibly be a curse from God at times too
baking is good for the soul
in the spirit of Santa Clause
in myself
jeans and a tshirt should be a staple in everyone's wardrobe
giving more than you get
opening your mind to new possibilities (you don't have to take them just be open to hearing them)
I have a purpose
elementary teachers are your second mom
America is still the greatest country in the world and will be that way for a long time
that mommys and daddys should stay together no matter what
english teachers can change the world
books are portals to your alternate universes
money does not buy happiness but it does relieve a lot of stress

Hand in Hand

Out of Ms. A's Mary Poppins bag I grabbed an emery board. Also known as a nail file. I could write about something as shallow as getting a manicure or those girls off of the movie clueless who are always fixing their nails but as I was thinking about my object I thought why not write about the hand that you file? Though we don't think about it hands are a very important part of our culture, and pretty much any culture for that matter. Obviously we use them to do things but we use them to shake hands, which could be a friendly or business-like gesture, some use their hands to talk, be it just waving them around to emphasize something or actually speaking, and they are also used to show affection in hand holding, touching, and embracing. In my observations hands come in many different shapes and sizes. My hands are about average. Maybe on the large side but my fingers and palm are proportionate and my hands and fingers are neither fat nor skinny. My friend Elizabeth and I were comparing hands the other day and she has small squat hands. Shorter chubbier fingers and her palms are bigger than her fingers but I think she has beautiful hands. In the bible it says beautiful are the feet of them that share the gospel (something along those lines anyway) and I think that that principle can apply to hands too. In my words beautiful are the hands that help others, who are doing things worth while and productive. There are so many things to do with your hands. You can pick up trash along the side of the road to help keep your neighborhood clean, you can rock a fussy baby to sleep for a mom who seems just about at her wit's end, or you can teach a little kid how to write their name. Though hands can be used for bad things there are so many ways to make your hands beautiful.

ABCD...ENFJ?

According to the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator I am an ENFJ. Now what in the world does that mean? Extroversion, iNuition, Feeling, and Judging. There are several things that characterize ENFJ's such as preferring to study with others while learning, are not procrastinators, be decisive, organized, motivated, productive, and idealistic at work, will provide encouragement and support, and feel negative or cynical when dealing with stress to name a few. Mostly I agree with the major characterizations of ENFJ's but there are  few things that just don't fit me. In the overview of this type it mentions several times something about having good people skills and a strong sense of self. This fits me perfectly. I have not always been a 'people person' but as I got older it had become more necessary for me to be outgoing so I made myself do it and now am comfortable talking to people and putting myself out there. I know what I believe and stick to it and I think that others see that and it encourages them to 'stick to their own guns' so to speak. I love helping people and enjoy all of my relationships and making new friendships. One thing that is not me is the no procrastination. I'm not that terrible but I tend to categorize my priorities into things I need to do for others and things I need to do for myself. I usually put my things off until I have finished what I have needed to do for others and unfortunately homework and such usually gets put into the 'my things' category so it gets pushed aside. Other than that the indicator explanation explains me almost to a T. I think it will help me with my writing because it shows me that I know who I am so I may have to stretch my thinking abilities to write from a different perspective or bring new ideas to the table. It also gives me ways to explore the facets of my personality that I might not think of or open up new opportunities for writing and my schooling in general.