Masquerade

One of my habits is a bad habit in disguise as a good habit. Sort of. I tend to be the one who always helps others. Everyone can depend on me to do it because I will always be there and if you show me I will always try and get it right. You could say I'm at other people's disposal. Except for the fact that I always seem to think about myself and how I will benefit from what I'm doing for them. Don't get me wrong sometimes my heart is in exactly the right place and I do it ONLY because it makes them happy or helps me out but sometimes that's not the case. I honestly love doing things for people and I really don't mind but the little niggling, annoying, almost embarrassing thought that's always in the back of my mind is how does this make me look to other people or what is this doing for me? I hate that I'm this way but when it comes time I never can seem to change it. I don't necessarily care what other people think of me but I want them to know that I am a nice person and friendly so they will want to be around me. I also know I want their approval so sometimes one of my motivations is, "Will this make me look good?" It's horrible I know and I'm ashamed by it because this is not how our attitudes are supposed to be but I also know that I'm a work in progress and I'm not alone. Sometimes I even console myself with that fact. I'm glad that people can't see what's in the heart because I would not be worthy to be emulated or even looked at if they could. Some of my close friends know this about me and still they accept me for who I am but I think if everyone knew they couldn't overlook it with love for very long. I also think that since I know this about myself it reminds me to consider the flaws in other people and to overlook them with love because that's what I would want them to do with me.

Road Work Ahead!

Life happens to you no matter what. You have the awesome responsibility of making the choices that determine how it life happens. Our prompt for today was the quote, "Successful people have successful habits, unsuccessful people don't." People often say that practice makes perfect but what if you're practicing the wrong thing?  You have the power over yourself and your life to make changes nobody else can. You decide whether or not to apply yourself to your studies or to keep harmful substances out of your body because you know that both of those things can affect you and every decision you make has consequences. those consequences can be good or bad but no matter what you can learn from those experiences. If you want your life to take a certain path then you work at the things that will make that path successful and you don't get there by sitting on your hind end doing nothing but waiting. Yes most good things come with time but you have to work towards them not wait for them. If you have successful habits you will be able to accomplish more and do it more efficiently also because you will be used to making things work so your 'technique' will become easier to use. The bonus is when you start and keep successful habits in your life others will see and pick up those habits as well and you will become a motivator without even meaning to and sometimes without even knowing it. You will have helped someone else to start on the path in their life that they want to take and they will develop the good habits needed to keep them on course.

Money money money moneeey...MONEY!

OH MY GOSH!!! If I found THREE MILLION DOLLARS under my desk I think I would just have to sit on the floor for a while. I would tithe off of it first then I would probably try and buy my mom a house and pay off my dad's mortgage. I would pay bills for them for like 3 years and I would fill up every one's gas tank (even my sister's mustang which I would buy for her). Then I would donate some to organizations and give a love offering to the missionaries we support. I would probably buy myself a new Ford, four door, 4-wheel drive, truck. I would do things for my friends and families in the church and then, of course, save whatever was left over. I might even have to get financial counseling if I had that much money because I wouldn't really know what to do with it. I believe that I have the right principles about money it's just more difficult to apply them.

2+2=Love

Last Sunday I learned that I will be getting to teach the 4 and 5 year old's class at church. I'm so excited because I love to teach and that age group is my favorite. Our associate pastor's wife teaches the class right now and she also teaches their primary church class too along with all the other things she does so I wanted to help her so she could have a break once in a while. I'm looking forward to it because I get to do my own crafts and I'll get to tell them stories and sing songs with them. They are so much fun at that age even though they are a bit challenging at times. I also was put in charge of the book projects for Master club on Wednesday nights. Last Wednesday I had the fifth graders (only two) and we made posters about Germany for our missions emphasis month in October. I got to decorate the classroom and put all of my things in there. I finally feel like I'm growing up because people are giving me more responsibility and I'm really excited to see what happens.

Coming Up: the next 5 star General of the U.S. Air Force!

My friend Lauren is such a character. She is the goofiest, craziest, most innocent person I know. When we met in 7th grade my friends nor I really liked her because we thought she was annoying. Somehow we got past that and she is a very important part of our group. She has always been very disciplined and good at military things and all through high school she worked her butt off to get into the Air Force Academy. Senior year she lost a bunch of weight (not good because she was already skinny) because she was so stressed out about not getting in. Of course with her outstanding accomplishments and merit she was accepted. I am so proud of her because she worked hard to get what she wanted. She is so beautiful not only because of her outward appearance (which is gorgeous by the way) she has a heart of gold and loves life and lives it to the fullest.

Ahhhhhhhh!!!

My stress relievers:

Crying-this is my tried and true method
Sitting by myself and being quiet
Soaking in a warm bath while reading a totally unrealistic fiction romance novel (christian of course)
Helping others
Baking
Watching a movie (kinda goes along with the bath and book idea)
Sleeping-sometimes I get way over stressed just because I'm tired
Lately doing some Zumba videos has given me somewhere to put my energy
Eating-sad but true
Venting-especially to my close friends who know that it doesn't really mean anything and don't judge me for it

I don't get too stressed out very easily but usually that's because I've done the first few things on the list before I get too far:)

Warm Fuzzies;)

I really like doing things for other people. It makes me feel happy when they get the gift and it turns their whole day around. It's also a lot of fun to do secret gifts because then they don't know who it is that thought of them but they just know that somebody out there did. I think that if everyone took just a little time out of their day to do something nice for just one other person, our society would be a happier more caring one. We can get so wrapped up in our own lives and problems that we don't see that other people are going through the same things. Sometimes, especially when you have a problem, it's a good practice to think of someone else and help them with whatever their struggling with and you'll see that maybe your problem wasn't so big or that it worked itself out without you even having to worry about it. For me helping others relieves stress because as bad as it sounds I can forget about things going on with me and focus on their problems. Sometimes they don't need you to fix them and sometimes you can't but they can always use someone to listen to them.

Grandma's Kitchen

I believe that baking is good for the soul. There's just something about the smell of cinnamon rolls coming out of the oven or yeast rolls rising. It's so homey and inviting (which if you ever want to make someone feel at ease just bake them cookies). Everybody has seen a picture of Grandma in her apron pulling a cake out of the oven and that picture provokes thoughts of home and love. I love to bake pretty much anything and I do believe that anything, even regular food, tastes better if it's baked or cooked with love. When I bake it relaxes me in that even if the recipe is hard or I haven't made it before I can just focus on making it the best it can be and if something goes wrong it's ok. I like to bake stuff for other people because it lets them know I'm thinking about them. I love it when I get little gifts from people who have taken the time especially for me to let me know I'm special and it's even better if there's food involved. I also love candles that smell like food. My favorites are the fall scents like apple pie, pumpkin spice, and cinnamon roll but I also like fruity smells and the candles that smell like cupcakes. Which brings me to another thing I like to do. Decorate cakes. I'm not very good and in no way to I do it professionally. It's really more of a wing it and hope it turns out good type of thing. I have done some cute ones though. My best friend Teah and I made a cow one time. He was kind of an ordeal but we all made it through and in the end we had to name him so we named him Norman. We were taking it to one of our church dinners and we had spent so much time on this cake that we were cutting it close to get to choir practice. She drove to church while I held Norman on my lap. He was just sitting on a piece of cardboard with aluminum wrapped over it. We were at church and I was just about to get out of the car when she accidentally bumped it. We both squealed and almost freaked out because we had worked so hard on it but it was ok. We rushed it inside and hurried off to choir practice.

Collage of Me! Part 1



This is how me and my best friend Teah spend the majority of our time...



Me and my youth pastor's oldest son. He's like a little brother to me:)...



Me and my sister Bethany when we were younger, weren't we adorable?...



Me and my best friend again at Truman State University on move in day...



Pretending to blow my friend Bethany's hair like a model...



My sister and her best friend Emily...Love those girls!:)



I believe in my friends, that they can do anything and that they believe in me:)

I love my friends. That is the most important thing about my friends. I have been pretty picky about who I "let in" but now that I've opened up a bit I have so many amazing ones. My friends are always there for me and I know they love me too. I have a little group of about 8 girls that are my closest friends. Kaelyn, Kristan, Lauren, Bethany, Megan, Kristi, Teah, and my sister Bethany. These are my girls and I've got their backs just like they've got mine. We laugh, cry, and fight with each other and there is no question that we would kill for each other. All of my other friends are so important to me as well. They are encouraging and I am a better person because of them. I am so grateful to have the friends I do.

This I Believe...

I believe...
that smores, campfires, and hayrides are the most fun things ever
in my friends, that they can do anything and that they believe in me
in love
that Jesus Christ died for MY sins and he not only saved me from an eternity in hell he gave me
    a Mansion! in heaven
farmer's are the backbone of this country
children are blessings from God
children also may possibly be a curse from God at times too
baking is good for the soul
in the spirit of Santa Clause
in myself
jeans and a tshirt should be a staple in everyone's wardrobe
giving more than you get
opening your mind to new possibilities (you don't have to take them just be open to hearing them)
I have a purpose
elementary teachers are your second mom
America is still the greatest country in the world and will be that way for a long time
that mommys and daddys should stay together no matter what
english teachers can change the world
books are portals to your alternate universes
money does not buy happiness but it does relieve a lot of stress

Hand in Hand

Out of Ms. A's Mary Poppins bag I grabbed an emery board. Also known as a nail file. I could write about something as shallow as getting a manicure or those girls off of the movie clueless who are always fixing their nails but as I was thinking about my object I thought why not write about the hand that you file? Though we don't think about it hands are a very important part of our culture, and pretty much any culture for that matter. Obviously we use them to do things but we use them to shake hands, which could be a friendly or business-like gesture, some use their hands to talk, be it just waving them around to emphasize something or actually speaking, and they are also used to show affection in hand holding, touching, and embracing. In my observations hands come in many different shapes and sizes. My hands are about average. Maybe on the large side but my fingers and palm are proportionate and my hands and fingers are neither fat nor skinny. My friend Elizabeth and I were comparing hands the other day and she has small squat hands. Shorter chubbier fingers and her palms are bigger than her fingers but I think she has beautiful hands. In the bible it says beautiful are the feet of them that share the gospel (something along those lines anyway) and I think that that principle can apply to hands too. In my words beautiful are the hands that help others, who are doing things worth while and productive. There are so many things to do with your hands. You can pick up trash along the side of the road to help keep your neighborhood clean, you can rock a fussy baby to sleep for a mom who seems just about at her wit's end, or you can teach a little kid how to write their name. Though hands can be used for bad things there are so many ways to make your hands beautiful.

ABCD...ENFJ?

According to the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator I am an ENFJ. Now what in the world does that mean? Extroversion, iNuition, Feeling, and Judging. There are several things that characterize ENFJ's such as preferring to study with others while learning, are not procrastinators, be decisive, organized, motivated, productive, and idealistic at work, will provide encouragement and support, and feel negative or cynical when dealing with stress to name a few. Mostly I agree with the major characterizations of ENFJ's but there are  few things that just don't fit me. In the overview of this type it mentions several times something about having good people skills and a strong sense of self. This fits me perfectly. I have not always been a 'people person' but as I got older it had become more necessary for me to be outgoing so I made myself do it and now am comfortable talking to people and putting myself out there. I know what I believe and stick to it and I think that others see that and it encourages them to 'stick to their own guns' so to speak. I love helping people and enjoy all of my relationships and making new friendships. One thing that is not me is the no procrastination. I'm not that terrible but I tend to categorize my priorities into things I need to do for others and things I need to do for myself. I usually put my things off until I have finished what I have needed to do for others and unfortunately homework and such usually gets put into the 'my things' category so it gets pushed aside. Other than that the indicator explanation explains me almost to a T. I think it will help me with my writing because it shows me that I know who I am so I may have to stretch my thinking abilities to write from a different perspective or bring new ideas to the table. It also gives me ways to explore the facets of my personality that I might not think of or open up new opportunities for writing and my schooling in general.